The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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