No awkward lesbian experiences without me
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
can u get pink eye on your cock?
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
