I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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