its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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