I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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