respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
