Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
