It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
