Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
