I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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