i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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