i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
