that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
