i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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