I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
