It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it's like heaven, but drunker
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
