So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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