he wants to bone in the snuggie
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
