I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Randomize