It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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