found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
NoShamevember. You game?
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Randomize
