I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
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