Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
