I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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