this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize