I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
