i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
