Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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