It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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