I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
When are your genitals available?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
