I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We don't watch enough power rangers
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
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