I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
