Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
