I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize