Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Randomize
