there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
