yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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