i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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