Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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