real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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