never play flip cup with pint glasses
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
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