OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
