Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
