Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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