nut hugger
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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