how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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