Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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