Pants 0. Shit 1.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
