Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Randomize
