Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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