Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
high people should be assigned attendants
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Damn victory sex feels great
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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