my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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