Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Randomize
