I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
even my farts smell like vagina
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
