MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
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