Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
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