TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
